shopping

You never know what you may encounter when you go shopping.  But usually when you walk into a place it tells you by inventory or design the type of place it is....shoes in a shoestore, hardware in a hardware store, clothes in a clothing store etc. etc. So it came as a recent surprise that my local supermarket was not  what it appeared to be.

It all started as I was swinging by the meat section and happened to notice a rather large woman leaning against the meat shelves...taking a break? resting? fantasizing about sausage?  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary .........so I continued my perusal of the daily bargains.  Up and down the aisles I went only to encounter her again.....  this time she seemed to be leaning a little more on the meat case.  Still, nothing stood out as noteworthy.

Twenty minutes and a cart chock full of groceries later,  I saw her one more time only now she was near the dairy department slumped near the manager of the store who was  in attendance....the only problem was that it was more about her derriere than her dairy air as her cheeks spread over the cheese spread and her face was the color of the ricotta(not the one on sale)..  Having worked in a hospital and having had enough experience with doctors and medical issues I casually sauntered over pretending i was eyeing  the egg crates....ready to help at a moments notice.

But what did I see?.. the gentleman standing near her who I had formerly thought of as the manager of the store had transformed himself into Dr. Kildare, telling  her that she was okay and  performing various voodoo like ministrations that were clearly not going to help this poor woman who was obviously having a diabetic episode.  Since I had been witness to this once before with a friend of mine and thankfully called 911 just in the nick of time, I suggested he do likewise...but he"had everything under control" as her head was lowering toward the headcheese and her butt was abutting the butter. Something dramatic obviously had to occur to rescue this poor soul.

By why should I have worried??   Suddenly racing out of the meat department dressed in his "whites" covered with blood( he must have just performed a hysterectomy on a leg of lamb) came the meat manager.  "Are her pupils dilated?" he shouted.  "What's her pulse?"  "Is she feeling better?"  he said in rapid succession.  Oh my God I thought, healthcare is bad enough in this country but is this the point we have reached?.......namely, when you go to the supermarket you get vaccinations instead of veal,  surgery instead of things sugary and physician assistants for whom the letters EMT mean Excellent Meatmanager Treatment??   Yes, sometimes shopping is not always what it seems.  I just hope when I go buy gas for the car...it is gin and tonic that comes out of those hoses instead of gas....now THAT is a consumer benefit  I would welcome!!