You know what they say about people when the moon is full...."all the crazies are out"..I never really believed that until I worked as an administrator for psychiatry in a public hospital OR until last Tuesday. 24 hours of pure unadulterated lunacy!!
They also say "things happen in threes" ...I MUST find out who "THEY" are because "they" are right on both counts.
Scenario #1... was.in a local bank patiently waiting my turn in line when the woman ahead of me starts complaining about "Why did I get off this line? that woman got in front of me!! why do I always choose the wrong line?" Well, in my most compassionate voice and in an effort to calm her down, I said.."Miss, I hope that this is the worst thing that ever happens to you " . Usually that is met with .."You're right" and the offended party immediately gets a heavy dose of perspective. But, OH NO!! not this nut, who immediately started yelling "Dont teach me anything....I don't need any lessons from YOU " to which my knee jerk answer was...OH BUT YOU DO!!! you are rude" ...... as she stormed off into the sunset...I thought that was the end of it until a few days later when I went to the gym to de stress......... guess who was next to the only machine available? Now what is the likelihood of that!
Scenario # 2 I am in Staples buying some items and I see a woman slip something in her purse after which I asked "Is that yours?: fully expecting John Quinones from channel 7's "What Would You Do?" to come out with microphone and cameras blazing and complimenting me at my effort regarding moral rectitude. But, is that what happened? Not on your life!! What happened was that I unleashed a Pandora's Box of exponential lunacy that continued unabated as this woman followed me around the store, yelling and screaming as I tried to shop...Just visualize a mother duck followed closely by a duckling and you get the picture. However in this case the duckling was the AFLAC duck ranting and raving right to the check out line. All of a sudden I remembered that no one else but me was in the aisle when she was doing her dirty deed and so I said to her, in front of the small crowd that had gathered.."Lady I do not know what you are talking about . I have never seen you before. Why on earth do they let crazy people in this store?"........ She stopped....but only for minutes as she waited for me at the door. To delay my exit I pretended to be looking at something at which point she accused ME of stealing.. First the bank lady now this!!! 'Yes, you're right I'm stealing! Hey, everybody look at me, I'm stealing" were words I heard coming out of my mouth. Well, she must have thought I was crazier than she was and so she left.....must remember that tactic for the future.
Scenario #3. I like to do the laundry...sit quietly in the laundry room when , hopefully no one is there and read a book..it is relaxing....It is also perfectly acceptable when all the machines are in use to remove clothing if the party in question is not there and their laundry is done....acceptable that is,only if the launderer in question is normal and not some wild Hungarian woman BELLOWING in a 2x4 space labeled a laundry room.. After 10 minutes of attempting to ignore her, I did feel compelled to inform her ...solely for purposes of clarification...of the nature of her behavior. But I guess telling her she was stupid may not have been the best use of a word. I always carry my cell phone there but in an attempt to get the doorman to my rescue, the cell phone was nowhere to be found ....things got a little dicey and she exited with very threatening words as to 'I should wait to see what she is going to do etc etc.'.....in moments like this when the safest place is to jump into the washing machine and slam the lid over your head...it is never never good to get mad.............................................just get even. So Miss Hungarian Crazy Renter will be the subject of the next board meeting to wit a beautifully, skillfully and silently tendered letter has been sent describing her in all her glory....put that in your goulash sister and smoke it !!!
And to think this all happened in the space of 24 hours!!......Could the moon be that powerful??...unless of course these three are genetically tied to the same family tree in which case it is time to call in a gardener to do some serious pruning.
